Went to see my dean today... and he told me to come by his office on monday, along with alqas and satria.. I thot they're coming over today.. but they didnt turn up.. so i guess monday it is then.

Spent the morning in the library and the afternoon lazing around in my room. I'm gonna have to study tomorrow.. my digital control systems, my electrical tech tutorial, my marketing subject.. and that jap!.. jap and marketing tests are due this upcoming friday. Cool eh? Hmm.. sice i'm planning to go back home in a fortnight, i guess i'd better start studying hard!

Hmm.. currently listening to the song 'Linger' by the cranberries on hitz. This song really strucked me when things went haywired between myself and ben.Heheh.. memories can never fade can it? However bitter things had been... the sweeter things that had happened never seem to escape that little room in my head. Let it be there... as lng as it want to. I'll just look at it as something i had and enjoyed... solely the PAST. I have no regrets whatsoever.. what happened just made me stronger. Things hurt me a lot back then.. now i've grown mature not to hold any grudges against the past and everyone involved.. (Really?.. do i really?..heheh!) I'll share the lyrics of that song here... Oh yeah.. Dan is coming back tomorrow.. rally cant wait for his call!! ;)

LINGER -
If you.. if you should return.. Dont let it burn dont let it fade.I'm sure i'm not being rude but it's just your attitude.. it's breaking me apart.. it's ruining everything.
I swore.. I swore i would be true.. and honey so did you.. So why were u holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you? (P/s.. Probably it is!)
But i'm in too deep (was!) You know i'm such a fool for you.. You got me wrapped around your finger.. Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to...?
I thought the world of you.. I thought nothing could go wrong.. But i was wrong... (Dead wrong!)

Well... that was my theme song back then.. Now.... it's ...I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you! :p
LOLzzz!! What a bunch of crap i wrote today.. heheheh...

At last, after quite a long ermm... break.. from my cekak, i'm now joining the demonstration squad for the upcoming mwi week. Good.. coz i get to practice my silat.. it'd been such a long time since i'd last practised! We'll be having regular practises as the performance is just around the corner.. so i'm really gonna work hard for it.

I came accross a topic which had caught my interest in today's daily. It was about being prepared of becoming one nation. As far as i'm concerned, the way the educational system is working now.. i dont think it'll work. Just look at some of the students who'd been trained to be among their own race only, since their early ages. I'm talking abt my own people here. Sometimes i feel sorry for people of my own kind (thus sorry and truly embarrased of myself). Why? Because we'd been given too many privillages, some since their young age, that made us forget the need to be dilligent and competitive to survive the real world. We'd been spoonfed too much now that we turn into such lazybums! Sad.. but heartbreakingly true.

I had a taste of being one nation together with all my friends during my school years, despite their races. During those times, we'd practically shared everything... ideas, pencil colours, drinks.... I felt that i could really blend in with everyone.. no matter what they looked like.. and what color they were. We were just the same beings sharing this little piece of land by the name Malaysia. We had a fair share of everything. As long as one is hardworking enough, they'd get good results. The competitiveness is always there, amongst all the races. At the same time we have respect of each other's faiths and customs. As long as everyone knows where to draw the line, everything will be fine.

The problem is with us that we never actually know where and when to draw the line. Sometimes, we negotiate too much that it affects our own beliefs and faith. What i am trying to say here is that... sometimes we give in just a little too much... Just look at our people. We gave in to the temptations of alcohol, premarrital sex... and lots more that were never our custom in the first place. In fact, it was never anybody else's custom either was it? This isnt really the idea of being adaptable right? Maybe it all happened because our faiths in our religion had slightly diminish. And the finger points to no one else but me. If i wanna make change.. it has to start right here... ME!... what am i babbling about? Gee whizzz... i dunno.. just satisfying my cravings for writing i guess. Hehh...

Okay.. better go now... ooppsss... almost forgot! i have too see my dean tomorrow regarding my masters application. Cherrio!

Just came back from hanging out with some friends... before i went out just now.. i wanted to write in a few serious stuffs.. i was so taken in by what i read frm my friends' blogs and all... so i'd decided to write about some serious matters, rather than just childish blabberings of my current massive flirt.. heheh... but now... as i'm kinda full with fried maggi... the idea had completely drained... maybe the maggi exchaged places with my ideas....

Anyway.. despite my idea drainage, i'd still wanna write. It'd been quite some time now that i did any serious writing. The class i'm attending now is all about technical writing. Not really my cup of tea but i think it'd be beneficial to me in the long run. What's more, the current syllabus includes not only letter and report writing, it also includes market trend evaluations, prospectus and what not. Serious stuffs... can't say that i dont enjoy the class though. I think the class is cool.. with the teacher n all...

Okay.. b4 i start on the more serious stuffs.... lemme just put in sumthing abt dan okay.. hehehe.... he called all the way from camerons just now.. and he'd spoken in this whispering voice which i'd found quite sexy.. heheh. He's going into the jungles tomorrow, and he said that he'd gimme a call on sunday. Before ending the call, he made this puckering sound at the end of the line.. which i thot was kinda sweet.... :) (ben did that to me once... n i liked it too).

Now for some serious stuffs... not that serious anyway... heheh. Know what i'm thinking right now... how do some people get to afford like really posh stuffs... Man.. what i wouldnt give to have such luxury.... Why had i started to think abt this? Well... i just had a chat with my junior frm school... she told me that she got this brand new wira automatic car and to add to that, she also bought a brand new limited edition nokia 8910 that costs 2700 bucks! how's that? And the biggest catch is that she's 2 yrs younger than i am... some people are just so lucky! I mean.. i couldnt have afford the things she have right now even if i have a job!... She's not the only person having that kind of luxury.. most of my friends from school lives those posh kinda lifestyle too. Well.. above all that, of course.. they have wealthy parents.... I wonder how many years it'll take me to get financially stable... not just stable... comfortable... where i can spend money just like that.. without having to penny pinch and all. Hate having to check my purse before getting something i want... hate having to wait and save up to get something i sooo badly need to have. But then again, all that trains me to save, to know the real value of money... to realize the difficulties that my parents had gone thru to feed, clothe and shelter us... to make me aware of the importance of money management.... which is why i need to get my butt into the management class tomorrow.... It'd had been like nearly 5 hrs of management lectures that i'd skipped already! heheheh... yeah.. naughty me... I know...

Oh well... i'd better finish up my jap homework so that i can pass it up tomorrow. How long had i wrote??? Ermmm.... what a sweet nite... Sure gonna have a good nite's sleep.. with thots of dan lingering in my mind ( yeah... you people reading my blog would have one helluva time laughin hard at me.... duh... like you ppl dont experience what i'm going thru rite now.. :p) Hmm... i think i can smell a slight, faint smell of his davidoff... heheh.. just kidding! cherio!

How come today is sooo damn boring? Had jap class early in the morning... i was woken up by dan this morning.. i asked him to do so, as soon as he's on the way to cameron's. He's in cameron's now.. repairing his beloved landie.. :p and he'll be spending the weekend in the jungles.. whatever... damn! now he's not around to chat with me... HUWAAA!!! I miss hom sooo much! why?????

okay.. no stories whatsoever... there'd be a seminar on vlsi tomorrow... maybe i'd go....

I had one of the best weekends ever!!!!!! just reached campus frm kl at 0500 this morning.... n i still can go thru every bit of the details of my going out with him vividly... :)

We went out on saturday to the midvalley megamall... n i prior to the date i'd told him not to drive his landie coz it was near my period n some parts of my body are quite tender.. so the rattle of the landie would really hurt those parts(this what i really enjoy of him.. i can really share everything with him!).. n so.. he brought along his wira instead n he picked me up at the bangsar station at 1100. We proceeded to the midvalley.. looked for his stuff a while n felt rather hungry soon after so we headed to the mcdonalds coz i wanted to have the sundae so badly... n we spent quite some time there... catching up on things.. duh! like there're so many things to catch up on.. i practically chat with him every night for god's sakes... anyway.. he asked if i'd lost weight!! :D okay... after luch, i had to go to the ladies n he needs a ciggie.. n we went to the toilet area where he then went to the parking lot to have his ciggie. Surprisingly, i found out that i'm having my menses running on that particular day! i really didnt expect it to come so soon.. n i didnt prepare myself.. no pads.. no panty liners.. no nothing!.. i cleaned myself.. (no stains on my panties yet.. thank god!) n rushed out to find him.. n when i did, i told him as discreetly as possible that i really need to go to watsons... n he understood and dashed right outta the parking lot... so quickly that i had to run after him!.. i had to slow him down a bit.. n we got to wtasons.. i got what i needed... n everything was fine... that was the 1st time that ever happened to me... n it was really sweet of him to understand.

The next day, we went out again, this time we went looking foe my stuffs... near the sogo area.. we went out really early to catch breakfast.. at about 0930... n then i hurriedly got all the things i wanted to get n settled down to lunch at pertama... he was complaining that he wasfeeling tired n sleepy n all... n i felt quite sorry that he'd to take me out... anyway.. towards our depart, he confessed that he dont really go out much when i'm not around.. unless of course with jamal n shikin... n i dunno.. does that prove anything?

Later, he walked me to the bus stop n we said our bye byes n all... later that night, he called to make sure that i was safe on the bus (i took the midnite bus) n told me that he'd started missing me the very moment he turned to leave... sweet! darn!.. now i'm just so fond of him... all my friends who knows abt him keep telling me it's really good for me to have him.. but i dunno... i do like him.. but.... i'll just leave things to fate... god.. i miss him already!!!